My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
