The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
