Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
