But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
