Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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