i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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