Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
