I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
