what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
