i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
