and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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