You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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