yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
