You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
