A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
