I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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