Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
