There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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