Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
false alarm, still single
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
