Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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