I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
