I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
