Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
