So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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