You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Come on in and take your pants off
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