I wannas sexs uuuuu
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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