and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
