my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There r osticjed everywhere
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
