I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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