he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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