DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
