They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
