i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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