Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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