I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
