Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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