Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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