Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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