i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
