at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
