They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
