OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
