No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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