Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
