i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
