Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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