True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
