guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
