I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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