Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
