my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
