brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
