I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
