Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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