im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
